Overtime..Juno.

Well, guess i should stop posting this kinda of dumb thoughts of me at my blog anymore... What ivan said might be true, its sick.. and girls might freak out after seeing it.. lol... So enough... Well went working at Great Eastern Live... Quite a nice place actually, with nice colleges, espically there are a few cute and pretty girls working at my department., and it seems that there will be more then ample chance to get to work together.. Well, the sad thing is... the youngest of them are 22 years old.. Lol.. (wth.. like tt also sad) No la.. just kidding.. having them as friends will be more than enough.. Well, im the youngest there... ther pretty 22yrs old girl is the runner up and followed by alot of 23yrs old colleages... Astonishingly, most of them came from TP and more suprisingly is that, that girl also come from BZE... Well, due to my DAMN Sucky EMO attitude... im didnot get to talk to them MUCH.. but nevertheless, they welcome me alot... Thanx...

Being big company and multinational one, make the workload here kinda alot... LOTS and LOTS of OTs... In my 4 days working here, i OTed 3 days and 1 days is that i've a appointment with a agency... which also that i concluded that 4 out of 4, times 100 percent of days here will have OT... i suppose.. I though i would last for 1-2 days.. but dunno why i kinda OK with it... I dun really feel stress out or reluctant to stay back... maybe becos of the pay... its not much though... and i also dun have much purpose now to earn that much money... mainly i wanna get rich... thats all... Still, OT sucks... staying there more than my home doesn't feel right... Thanx to the EASTly location, i not totally demoralised by it..,

Hmm went ti watch Juno yesterday with ivan yx sl and gw... at 1st i thought... OMg ('*-.$7 .-*') ; if you are not creative enough and cant picture out wads with the $7... yea it have wings... But... it turn out to be much nicer than i expected... The director had made a very good job in coming out with the sacrastic conversations in the movie... It is FREaking funny and humourous.. Not to say that the message of teenage pregnancy is conveyed quite nicely.. The female cast is some.. I like the part where the guy holds the female cast while she on the sickbed after she had given birth and crying... He does not say anything but just hugged her tightly and be there for her... Well, eventhough these two screwed up kids which fu*cked around too much and got themselves a undesired outcome, but still the guy managed to take responsibility to the girl's love but still they had to give the child away to a person who is more capable and in needed for a child... I could give a 4.5 out of 5 to this show.. Weird, but simple, funny, humourous, and plainly nice... No wonder the rating were so high...

So.. back to my normal life walking down the road once again..

(p.s. I still loving you...)

Mood: same as always...

Empty...

Well, its end of school and there quite a few birthdays and event coming up before I will get a job and start working. For now i'm learning driving to enrich my free time now... =)

Ive went to few places here and there around singapore for the past few days to settle some stuffs. Well, dunno why, the world im looking at now seem so lifeless and colorless... Staring at the in coming buildings on the bus, looking at different people and listening to all sorts of noise seems so fake to me now... Everything seems to be a illusion for me and i really want to get out of it... Fading color seems to overwhelm me, and I seems extremely very lost and helpless... haha.. wad im saying man... Well, watched a few anime dis few days too... it stimulate alot of thoughts in my mind. Yes.. romance story again... ahaha...

Waiting,

it seems each and every of it will have a scene of the character waiting, waiting and waiting.... Some if them know wad they are waiting for... some dont know what dey are waiting for, but yet each and every one of them jerked some tears out of my eyes... i dun understand why im especially reactive to waiting scenes... i cant help to feel very sad for them... seems like im one of them... So, what im i waiting for? and who? why? i dunno... seems im the latter of these waiting beings... I'm tired... i wish this feeling will vanish... but still my heart still waits...

Numb...

yea... Numbness is what removing emotions and color from my world.... lifeless world... Maybe im forcing myself to be numb. Why do i do that? Weak? Crazy? Maybe... Maybe i just want to wait for someone or something for my whole life... So... Even if the long awaited has come, what will i do? what can i do? Cherish it... Deny it... Let go?

Weak...

Yea.. I'm weak i know... i tried... i tried... my best? i dunno too.. Whats the best? maybe the best is stop thinking abt it now at this moment? ahaha yea... Forget abt it... Im not suppose to write dis kinda rubbish after not coming here for so long... =\

It harder to forget then to remember something...

(will you come? i know you will... but i dunno whether i will be there...)

Mood: Alone?

Projects!!!...

OMG... soo many projects... even for the last few days of poly life... omg omg omg... Haiz.. maybe it is a good way to end it ba... ahaha... After that will be CNY, valentines and alot more... and eventually... the #^$%#$ NS.. Well, good luck everyone... GOOD LUCK...

(I really wanna say... say that i ... ...)

Mood: Dissappering Fuzzy

NAPFA...

Yesterday is my mum's 46th birthday, that y i cant go out with you poly guys... IM sooo sorry, i kinda forgot abt my mum's b'dae ahaha... cos we had pre-celebrated it.. but guess the actual day still to do something also la... So, after lesson i went to meet sis and mum, after that go shop shop and then eat at fish and co. ahahah... not bad la, since she nvr eat before... wahah. After that, we rush back to watch tv... -.- typical activity of a family... lastly we celebrated with the cake and songs to end the day... ahahaha

So, today went for napfa... ahaha did alot of preparations for it le! Even before go sch i ate milo energy bar and drank red bull... and it helps! the whole body itching to excercise after that. But i think i eat it too early, tt i couldn't last till the end. Well, all the scores are quite pleasing EXCEPT 2.4run, which shattered my dream of GOLD. OMG.... Super sucky... MY LEG CRAMPED like after 300-400m.. omg.... almost cramped la, can feel my leg is on the verge of cramping... so i slowed down my pace... ZZZZ i dun want the cramping to start, cos if it start cramping, game over... But still i push myself AND the leg to the fullest... sprinting at the last streach of road, heck care the cramp le... painful lor... zzzzzz. But still, astonishingly, i manage to brush out a 12.17sec... imagine if the cramp did not happened.. zzzz. I got silver becos of that tt y i want to retake it, dun admit the defeat since it is not my best performance... haha.

Well, someone asked... y i so emo in my blog.. wads all this "you" about... well, nothing much though. If i was to say, i will say that is some kind of prolonged affection that will still like tt forever... nothing is gonna happen and thats all, just want to let it stay dis way, since as im going to ns, no point bounding you for 2 years and waste you time... 2 years is more then enuff to find someone better and i would be happy for you... i could also say that it is some kind of challenge for myself to see how long i can "dan lian" someone, sounds stupid but, im tired of getting rejected by everyone and i want to cherish every emotions and feelings i can have now, by walking over you... yea.. so.. also can say that is a imaginary world that im living in and... ya.. something like tt.. AHAHAHA.... nothing really... ^^ thanks for the concern. but its nothing really.. nothing at all... A lil pic of fluffy kena bullied by us when he is slping:

(My will is not strong enough, im not strong enuff...)

Mood: Tired

lil' note...

Hahaha... Well... Feeling great and kinda weak now... lol... becos i broke my own 2.4 record just now... 11minutes and 19 secs.. Wow... thats... good i gotta say... i dun usually hit 11 minutes... Well, today i push myself to the limit le... and also, thaks to you, i made it... just thinking of you made me wanna go for 1 sec longer even that im totally exshuated... ahaha... crappy isnt it?

You initate to talk to me today... ahaha. wow... omg... im happy... really happy... thats crazy, kinda think this lil' bit of thing will make me that happy....i wanna know you more... i wanna talk to you even face to face... i wanna be there... but i know that i gotta let you go soon... maybe after that i might lose you forever, but who cares... thats fate... Anyway... thanks for talking to me... ^^

(Thank you... i'll be here)

Mood: delighted

Projects...

Haiz.. Porjects projects and projects... omg.. cant Believe it.. i stay at home for 1 and 1/2 week totally focusing on project.. every minute, every second is project. ahah got go exercise la.. so.. very stressed... do until want puke le... HAiz... Until today.. can relax abit le... I've done my part.. Not totally successful, but mostly done and ready.. so... woooT!.. ahaha.Lol.. anyway.. this is the funniest scene from Dan in real life... Ultimate Making Fun of someonre.. LOL... "Ruthie "Pigface" Draper"

Hmmm... swimming like has become my favourite destress activity.. ahah.. Maybe tiring myself and rest after that under the moonlight is kinda smoothing to my clogged heart... Haiz.. =X.. Guess wad, i went to sch on fri for some talk and proj...Yes.. and i saw you... Wahaaha.. lucky huh.. Kinda surprised and delighted.. so i lost my words and have no choice but to walk away silently... Aww.. wad a loser... Im always like this.. losing my words at the most crucial or best moments... =X So.. i to that dey might be a better day.. but.. it did not last... How i hope i had open that ^&!*$@# door 1 sec later... i overheard you are with someone... yea... someone... Though it is not a very positive comment, but still i dun wish i heard it... really...its fated for me to heard that stupid most impt part of the conversation when i open the door... Maybe is some kind os misuderstanding.. but im sure that i'm going to be alone again... how long will this feeling last this time? who knows... I'm really weak.. Yea... =/

(Hi...how are you?)

Mood: Falling apart...

lil' note...

Err... wanna tell you something... but, nah.. forget it.. Just kinda glad to see you today... and.. the new specs is nice... looks like mine too... wanna tell you this when i saw you today.. but nothing seems to come out from my mouth, it looks nice on you... ^^ ... and.... nothing....

(incapability... i'm weak...my imagination)

Mood: i'm back...